There has been a lot of discussion this week, through articles, blog posts and comments in response to various aspects of Jim and Michelle Duggar’s story. Many people that are commenting publicly have not experienced the loss of the child and have been very negative in the comments made about the way the Duggar family has chosen to grieve the loss of their baby Jubilee.Jubilee is the second miscarriage that the couple have experienced.
Here are some of the links to posts about the Duggar’s choices.
Perezito – described the creative process of photographing your dead baby as terrifying.
The daily beast - Quotes Dr Susan Newman as describing the sharing of photographs as distasteful.
Psychology Today – Deborah Davis writes a moving letter to Jim and Michelle Duggar, “Showing the photographs at Jubilee’s memorial service was such a touching and fitting tribute to your baby girl. Making them available to the public is provoking both compassion and outrage. Compassion is coming from those who empathize. Outrage is coming from those who are frightened.”
I have had a terrific response to my own blog post sharing why parents may find taking photographs of their baby comforting. You can read it here.
I have posted this linky to bring together all of the blog posts written by angel parents in support of the choices that Jim and Michelle Duggar made. It is my opinion that death and grief and in particular the very distressing death of a child during pregnancy or after birth are not discussed, which makes parents feel shame for the choices they make. They also sometimes feel guilt over the things they did not do at the time of their loss. I have spoken with many parents who regret not seeing their baby, kissing or touching them. Many do not know that it is “allowed” to do this, many worry what people will think or say. Comments like the ones Jim and Michelle Duggar will harm the choices the angel parents of the future face. Instead of healing they will feel shame, guilt and regret.
Please feel add links to your blog posts about the taking of and sharing of photos of stillborn, and miscarried babies. Let’s break the silence.
